IT’S JUST A VIRUS…

So Lilly had been spewing for 11 days straight and after seeing two doctors at the medical centre and being told “it’s just a virus” I decided to go to a private doctor for a third opinion. (OK now that I type “third opinion” I can see how that looks BUT Lilly was so dehydrated after 11 days of spewing that a third opinion was justified, even if I say so myself).

Having just started a new job I did not want to take too much time off work to take Lilly to her appointment, so, I worked as close to the appointment time as I could and then jumped in a cab and headed off to fetch my car which I left at the train station that morning. The driver was driving like a complete lunatic and missed the turn of. I told him not to worry that we would go and fetch Cat and Lil from crèche (as it was in the general direction he was heading seen as he missed the turn off) and then we would go back to get my car.

We arrive at the crèche and I jump out the cab while the cabbie waits in the crèche parking lot for me with the meter running, of course. Taking my bags with me I go running into the crèche and grab Cat and Lil, their bags, artwork, and cuddlies. (And before I carry on, My GOD these kids can do reams of art!). Now I am running back to the cab with 3 bags, two kids (one on hip) and artwork.  As I get to the cab I open the door and the girls start crying saying “No mommy we don’t want to go in the police car!” SHIT me threatening to call the cops when Cat and Lil are being naughty, just came back to bite me in the bum. I say “this is not a police car, this is a taxi and he is going to take us to fetch my car”, while shoving Caitlyn in the car. At that point Lilly puts one foot either side of the door and locks her legs so that I cannot get her in the car. Caitlyn somehow manages to escape over Lilly and get back out the cab. The cabbie then starts saying “it’s because I am black isn’t it!” OK DUDE… Are you really going to go there now? it’s not all about you at this point in time. So now I am trying to calm the girls down and convince the cabbie it is not because he is “black”. Somehow I manage to get the bags, kids, and artwork in the car and off we go. (Both girls had their heads buried on my chest and the cabbie is still playing the “cause I am black” card. I then explained how I threaten to call the police when they are naughty. That eventually seemed to make him feel better! We get dropped off at my car and off he goes.

I now load Cat and Lil into my car and head off to the Doctor.

Sitting in the doctors room Cat and Lil are angels and everyone is saying under their breathes “how cute” as they sit and read stories to everyone in the waiting room! And of course I am smiling like a proud mom!

We get called next… Now bearing in mind I had to call the doctor and plead my case just to get a stand-by appointment. Lil was on “death’s door” after all!

We get into the doctors rooms and before the introductions are even over, all hell broke loose! FERAL doesn’t even cover it! Cat and Lil decided to divide and conquer…

Cat stood on that the little step in front of the examination bed and pulled the fitted sheet and pillows off the bed and threw them on the floor. I jumped to my feet and started making the bed up again. While I am making the bed Lil swiped a massive pile of paperwork off the doctors desk sending the paper flying all over the room (He should really do his filing). Now I am on my hands and knees picking up the papers when Cat decides to open a cupboard and pulled its contents on the floor. I ditch picking up the papers for now, to pack the contents on the floor back into the cupboard. While I am doing this Lil got behind the desk and turned the plugs off including the doctors computer and a fridge with vaccinations in. Caitlyn then sees a machine that look like a bread machine and decides to switch it on. I have no idea what the machine did but it started making a spinning sound. I dived across from turning the plugs back on to switching the machine off.  While this is going on I am trying to “caution” (threaten if you will)  the girls in an “I have it under control” voice. (bearing in mind we are not allowed to smack children in Australia!) And all the time that this is going on the doctor is still giving me his diagnosis in a monotone voice. REALLY DUDE… you are gonna drone on while I am trying to get by kids under control… do you even think I have heard one word of what you have just said… REALLY?

Now that the doctor’s office is once again restored, Cat and Lil decide to play “stacks on” knocking things over. When I held each child by the arm and cautioned them through gritted teeth,  Lil threw herself on the floor screaming and back arching, while Caitlyn screamed back at me “NO I WILL NOT SIT DOWN”  in a “glass shattering” pitch. I kept apologising while trying to restrain Cat & Lil with no luck. At that point the doctor stops and says “I know it is frowned upon to smack your children and they need to develop their social skills but  please feel free to do whatever you need to, to rein them in. #BLUSH#

Mortified is an understatement. I have never been so embarrassed and angry in my life. In the car Cat says “I am going to tell daddy you shouted at me!” Let’s just say she is still expecting the Police to turn up to take them away! Yes – I went there again (threatening with the police)

As for Lilly’s diagnosis.. All I heard was “she’ll be fine”.

I posted a snap shot of this on Facebook and a friend comment and said “time to find a new doctor”! That’s just it… That WAS THE NEW DOCTOR!