Routine Schmootine…

Does a routine really work?

 I was one of these mothers that was NOT going to let a child rule my life. Cat and Lil had to fit into our lives, NOT the other way around. I hated these moms that couldn’t meet for a coffee because it was over their child’s nap time, or a meal time… Ever heard of “feeding on the run” lady. There was a lady in my mother’s group that you could not have a proper conversation with! She was constantly looking at her watch because at this time the child had to have a bottle and by that time the child should have had a dump and then they would have to leave because by that time the child had to be asleep. NOT FOR ME THANKS Routine was NOT going to rule my life! ROUTINE SCHMOOTINE is what I say!

 

Well I was sadly mistaken! It IS all about ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE! (that is big coming from someone who swore blind that I was not going to be ruled by routine). I think we actually started making headway with Cat and Lil the minute we introduced a routine and stuck to it! We would find a routine that fitted in with us, implement it and when it started working we thought “we have nailed these two” no more need for routine! BUT the kids would start acting up again and we would be back to square one! So when it comes to routine the key thing is STICKING TO IT!

This is how our day goes:

6.30am – Wake girls up (if they aren’t already awake) and dress them

7.00am – Downstairs for toast before crèche (while mom and dad run around like lunatics trying to iron work clothes, make lunch for work, do the kids hair all whilst trying to throw a cup of coffee down our throats before running out the door)
7.45am – Drop the girls at crèche where there is routine all day.

(On a weekend)

12.00pm – Lunch
1.00pm – Nap time
3.30pm – Wake up from nap time

5.45pm – Fetch the Cat and Lil from crèche on the way home from work
6.10pm – Feed the girls their dinner
6.30pm – Take the girls upstairs for a bath
7.00pm – Put the girls in bed and lights out

7.01pm – I am on the couch with a well deserved glass of wine!  

On the days we don’t put Cat and Lil to bed on time, the next day is a complete write off. If we let the girls sleep even 10 minutes later than 3.30pm for their afternoon nap, our afternoon is a write off! They turn into two little “Feraleenies” for the rest of the afternoon.  Another thing I thought was baloney…. Was telling Cat and Lil what is coming next in the routine… “What to anticipate.”  My thinking was I am the Mother and you bloody well do what you are told! But again I was sadly mistaken. Nothing like a child or two to prove you wrong! I find if we “just do” something in the routine, like take the girls upstairs for a bath… when we get upstairs, it is like a massive surprise to them… “REALLY Cat and Lil… we do this every night at the same time (because Heaven forbid we break the routine) so why is it such a freaking surprise to you?”  So now while we are downstairs having dinner we say “come on Caitlyn and Lilly we need to finish our dinner so we can go upstairs for a bath.” And then when they are finished dinner we say “come on girls let’s go upstairs for a bath”.   Then when we get upstairs (just in case they forgot on the way upstairs) we say “ok now it is time for our bath”. While they are IN the bath we start the “when we are finished bathing we are going to get ready for bed!” Then, when we take them out the bath we say “ok let go and put our pajama’s on because it is bed time.” So not only is it all about Routine but it is about constantly reminding them what is coming next… AS IF THEY DIDN’T KNOW!

Routine is King but it is very draining. I feel like a hamster on a treadmill, doing the same thing day in and day out, at the same times every day! I feel like letting my hair down, and just going nuts! I feel like kicking norm(al) in its Arse! I am over routine! It is the same old, same old, day in, and day out!

BUT sadly ROUTINE IS KING!!! (in our house anyway)

Toddlers and Tantrums…. EVER!

 Well I am becoming quiet the “Googler” with Cat and Lil let me tell you.  I reckon if I had no kids Google would go out of business… I don’t have my mother in Australia, so I have to get the advice one would normally ask a mom for, from Google, because when my kids are chucking a tantie I want answers NOW, not when I have worked out the time difference and if it is an Ok to call! I WANT THE ANSWERS NOW!  If Google was a person I could just imagine “Her” as a big woman, with a very kind, soft voice, and big arms to hug you and she would say “Don’t worry Sam, I have just the answer”.

So my latest Googling expedition has been trying to find tips on Toddlers and Tantrum chucking, because my kids deserve an Oscar for the tantrums they throw. Cat and Lil will chuck a tantie over the smallest things, like, Lilly wants to get in her high chair on her own (by mounting the coffee table and climbing over the back of the high chair to get in it (my shattered nerves.) Or Lilly wants to put her own shoes on especially when you are running 20 minutes late for work. Or Caitlyn wants the pink bowl that Lilly has, NOT THE BLUE ONE. Or Caitlyn wants love hearts on her socks today NOT THE BEARS! Or Caitlyn will tell me she wants her hair like Annabel’s today and I have to guess how Annabel wears her hair – GOD help me if I guess wrong because that will send Caitlyn over the edge. Just to stop there and give you a background on Caitlyn’s friend Annabel… She is a gorgeous little girl with THICK curly hair. We are talking tight ringlets here peeps! Now I ask you with tears in my eyes "HOW CAN I POSSIBLY DO YOUR HAIR LIKE ANNABEL’S, CAITLYN?" I cringe on the mornings I get asked to do Caitlyn’s hair like Annabel’s because I know that it is going to end in a tantrum!

Anyway… so the latest Googling expedition started because Cat and Lil’s tanties are getting worse… Caitlyn is now throwing, what I call “assertive” tanties.

Caitlyn, 3 going on 13, had the mother of all tanties yesterday morning! She wanted her bunny rabbit and Lilly's, which Lilly refused to hand over. I told Caitlyn she could not have Lilly's rabbit. Next thing Caitlyn screams at me in a deep voice (insert “Assertive Tantie” here)  "I DON'T LIKE YOU, AND I DON'T WANT YOU....EVER". Somehow Cat and Lil think that if they throw in the “EVER” on the end, it means serious business! To me... it means Caitlyn scored herself 20 minutes in the Naughty Corner... So don't be trying that on me again Missy..... EVER!

This morning Caitlyn asked to wear a skirt to crèche. I told her it was too cold and she had to wear leggings. She stormed to the bedroom door and yelled “I DON’T LIKE YOU AND YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND….(Yip you guessed it) EVER” and slams the bedroom door on her way out. I go to open the bedroom door so I can punish her and to my disappointment Caitlyn had already taken herself off to the naughty corner! I guess she figured that was where she was going to end up and she accepted her fate!

Everyone has different ways of punishing their children and there is no right or wrong way! I have learnt the long and hard way that you just need to find something that works for you and your kids. When we were growing up we would get the odd smack here and there and it never killed us, but I once smacked Caitlyn on her bottom and she turned around and laughed in my face and said “Again”! OMG that was me finished! So smacking does not work on my children. The naughty corner seems to be the only thing that Cat and Lil respond to. When we put Lilly in the corner, her whole world come crashing down. She cries but the tears don’t even have enough time to roll down her cheeks they just shoot straight out in front of her! (breaks your heart to watch it). Caitlyn seemed to get used to the naughty corner but now we make her face the corner which she does not like – which means I do, because I know it is working.

Caitlyn has come home from crèche before and come to me fighting back the tears and said “Mommy can I go in the naughty corner”. I said “Errr… yes! Sure you can” and off she has gone. When she got to the corner she screamed and cried and went ballistic and then when she was calm she came out the corner and said “thank you Mommy, I feel better now!”… UM OK then! (insert dropped jaw, and look of shock and disbelief on my face). I like that Caitlyn feels she has a place to let off steam if she needs to.

I will never forget – and in my defence, this was pre-kids… I was in Kmart and there was a child throwing a God Almighty tantrum in the middle of the shop. We are talking, lying on the floor kicking and screaming here peeps. Horrified a mother can allow her child to go that mental and just stand there watching… I marched up to her and said “excuse me lady but do you mind! I am trying to shop here and your child carrying on like that, is making my shopping experience unpleasant!” When I think of that day I can just die because now that I have toddlers and they are at the tantrum stage (and boy when my kids wanna throw a tantrum there is no holding them back!) I think I would seriously head butt anyone that said that to me!

People without kids are the first to judge and give advice, and YES! I was one of those people. I have just come to the realization that there is no one thing that will work on all children! Google the bejesus out of it until you find something that works for you and your kids. The other thing I do strongly believe in, and have learnt this the hard way…. 1. Consistency is key, 2. it takes about three days to work and for the kids to fully GET the new rules your are “trying” to implement so STICK TO YOUR GUNS! And the last things is 3. DON’T threaten (I said to Caitlyn the other day “Caitlyn I am counting… One…. T..” and she shouts “TWO, THREE, FOUR” – EPIC FAIL – that is when you realize your kids have your sussed as a “threatner’ and not a doer)   (I am actually not sure if “Threatner” is even a word but you pick up what I am putting down!)

Funny I read this back now and it sounds like I have it all under control - DON'T BE FOOLED, I am forever in tears or on Google. It is trial and error all the way!

Mothers Day... Schmothers Day...

Growing up I always thought Mothers Day was just another day invented as a money making racquet! A day where you feel compelled to go out and buy your Mother a gift or flowers or take her out for breakfast, lunch or dinner…. Pfffttt….

Now that I am a Mother I have come to realize why I truly appreciate everything my mother does and has done for me. The sacrifices she has made for me, the times she said “No” and I thought she was just saying “No” to be spiteful, meanwhile she always had my best interests at heart! I would do anything to be able to spend Sunday with my mom and tell her how grateful I am for everything she has done and sacrificed for me. I live in Sydney and my family live in South Africa, so I don’t have the luxury of celebrating Mothers Day with my Mom, my BEST FRIEND!

BUT….

Now that I am a Mother…. Mothers Day is MY DAY!  So Caitlyn and Lilly (insert Craig *here*)  when you are planning MY SPECIAL DAY just bear in mind all the times I have woken to your screaming in the night, the times you have thrown up on me, the times I have sat in a hospital waiting room for up to six hours with you on my lap as sick as a dog, the tantrums I have put up with, the “I don’t like that’s” , and the “I don’t want this”. Cat and Lil (Aka Craig)…it’s gonna cost you!

I was fortunate enough to attend a Mother Day Morning Tea that the girls crèche hosted. Seeing the proud little faces when the girls presented me with the Mothers day cards they had made, and the cup cakes they iced by themselves, and the book marks they made, is more than I could ever ask for.   

It takes being a Mom to really appreciate what a mother will do for you! All the little things you take for granted.

To all the Moms out there, I hope you have a wonderful day! Why? BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT!    

Cuddly SCHMUDDLEY – NOO NOO (as it is called in our house!)

So I thought a kid relying on a cuddly was not the best idea in the world, because I didn’t want my girls to become reliant on something. It would just be another thing I would have to wean them off further down the track, so I was not about to make more work for myself! Then I read an article on the Huggies website (I think it was), where they said it is good to introduce a child to a cuddly because when mom is not around or they are dropped off at crèche and feeling a bit insecure, they can find some comfort in a cuddly. It is the one constant, if you will. Apparently studies have shown that kids with a cuddly adjust to change better than those without. Lil’sie was a very clingy baby so we found the cuddle was fantastic and helped her adjust to starting crèche. She used to carry it around all day and they could not pry it out her hands – who cares, if it makes her happy, and makes the “drop of” at crèche go without tears,  HAVE IT, is what I say! (Slightly off topic… it is the same as a Dummy. I remember my mom saying “I hope you are not going to give your babies dummies…” My answer..”It is not called a pacifier for nothing!”  If it shuts them up, they can have it. But as luck would have it, neither of my kids took to a dummy! I tried every trick in the book but they wouldn’t have a bar of it! Yip that’s about right, NO REST FOR THE WICKED!)      

Anyway… So Caitlyn and her Noo Noo are just as inseparable. It is actually quite funny to watch,  Caitlyn will be playing with something and will all of a sudden put whatever she was playing with down, pick up Noo Noo, sniff it (and get this glazed look of content on her face), then puts Noo Noo down and continue playing. This will go on all day. If for some reason she forgets where she put Noo Noo, she calls for it, “Noooo Noooo… Noooo Noooo where are youuuuu?” If only it were that simple and Noo Noo answered back… “here I am Caitlyn come and get me.” Normally she has put it in a bag, or a box, or the doll’s house, or the oven in her pretend kitchen, or the tea pot of her teas set, you know, somewhere not so obvious (Pfttt, that would be too easy!). Oh and washing Noo Noo is a No No! Caitlyn cries when I wash it because “it has no stink mommy”. You are right about that my angel IT DOES STINK!

So the other day I go to fetch Caitlyn from crèche and notice Caitlyn’s “appendage” was missing. I asked her where her Noo Noo was and she looked at me blankly! I asked the Carer, who too looked at me blankly – OK PEOPLE WHAT IS WITH THAT BLANK LOOK – NO SPEAKDA ENGRISH? READ MY LIPS “W H E R E   I S   N O O   N O O?”  I actually felt my heart climb up into my throat and felt tiny beads of sweat forming on my top lip, I kid you not, because I know how my night will pan out without Noo Noo and I was NOT prepared to go there! So like a woman possessed I start looking through the toy boxes, on top over every locker, under every locker (while this is going on, the young Carer stands there looking at me.  Let me just say BEEG MISTAKE.) I turn and say (with a quivering voice) “Don’t just stand there, LOOK for it.” Caitlyn at this point is laughing saying “mommy funny”. NOT FUNNY! Mommy just knows what is install for her if we don’t find Noo Noo. After looking for 35 minutes and every Carer in the centre now searching, I stop and demand they search every bin in the crèche. OK I didn’t quiet expect the Head Mistress to go down and climb waist deep into the wheelie bins to search for it, but hey while you are in there…!  With no luck, and in an attempt to calm me down, the young Carer came to me and said “I tell you what, Caitlyn can take Miss Honey home instead” and with that she handed me a grubby white teddy! I never said it, but it was on the tip of my tongue….OK LADY, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR GRUBBY WHITE TEDDY CALLED MISS HONEY AND SHOVE IT WHERE THERE AINT NO BEES! I gave a nervous giggle and said “That won’t do”. Don’t these people understand Caitlyn have NEVER spent a night (since she was 4 months old) without Noo Noo. I actually felt like I couldn’t breathe I was so upset!

Sadly I lost the battle and had to leave crèche without Noo. Caitlyn on the other hand was well chuffed that Miss Honey was coming to stay! YARR Right let’s see how that pans out!

As suspected it lasted till bed time when Caitlyn lost the plot. “I want my Noo Noo, I want my Noo Noo, Noo Noo where are youuuuuu”. It broke my heart listening to Caitlyn sobbing until after 11pm that night.  NO…. I never got off that lightly! She woke again at 3am and cried for Noo Noo until 5.30am when she fell asleep again.

LIVID and sleep deprived I marched into Crèche the next morning and said “CAITLYN WILL NOT BE COMING HOME WITHOUT NOO NOO TONIGHT, FIND IT!” One of the Carers plucked up the courage to ask how it went during the night. Really…. You wanna ask me that question right now? REALLY? I asked what time the Head Mistress would be in and said TELL HER TO EXPECT MY CALL!

As soon as I got to work I started ranting on Facebook about my ordeal! The people that know Noo Noo were horrified. Here are some of their comments:

“Omg!!!! Not good :((“

“I would not have left the creche. They would be on night duty with me.”

“So... not only do you have to pay out your arse in fees, but the place is also run by half-wits! I'm with you hun, I would too be peed off.”

“Litigation?”

“I would sue!”

“Oh my hearts Breaking for you all....”

“OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How thoughtless of them!”

10am I rang the Crèche and started ranting. The Head Mistress tried to interrupt me and I continued ….”and she has NEVER spent a night without Noo Noo so you can’t just palm a grubby bear on to me and say OH well take Miss….and then the Head Mistress interrupted me again (I was on a roll here!) “Mrs. Todd….we found Noo Noo”… I got full up with tears and said “You what?”. She said “We found Noo Noo, some kid in Caitlyn’s class took it home by mistake and recognized it, stopped her mom throwing it away and brought it back this morning”. I could not have been happier! That kid is marked… just for the record!  

Before I continue I am sure you are DYING to see a picture of Noo Noo and why the kids mom was about to throw it away:   

 

Once I posted pictures on Facebook people were like “err what the hell is that?” ERRR NOO NOO DURRR! It used my be my Pajama Top. When Caitlyn was 4 months old she was in hospital with a viral infection. They ran several tests over 4 days and every time they took blood, or inserted a catheter, or put a drip into Caitlyn, they would do it in the cot! OK NOT SO FREAKING CLEVER… When we got home from hospital and I tried to put Caitlyn in her cot, she screamed. (Obviously thinking something bad was going to happen. Another jab perhaps). When I took her out the cot and held her against me, she stopped screaming. Then I put her in the cot she screamed again. It was then that I looked down and it came to me. I put Caitlyn back in her cot and quickly took off my Pajama top and gave it to her. She sniffed it and rolled over and fell asleep! AND THAT… is how Noo Noo became, well, NOO NOO!   

(Lilly's Noo Noo is also called.... Noo Noo)