Toddlers and Tantrums…. EVER!

 Well I am becoming quiet the “Googler” with Cat and Lil let me tell you.  I reckon if I had no kids Google would go out of business… I don’t have my mother in Australia, so I have to get the advice one would normally ask a mom for, from Google, because when my kids are chucking a tantie I want answers NOW, not when I have worked out the time difference and if it is an Ok to call! I WANT THE ANSWERS NOW!  If Google was a person I could just imagine “Her” as a big woman, with a very kind, soft voice, and big arms to hug you and she would say “Don’t worry Sam, I have just the answer”.

So my latest Googling expedition has been trying to find tips on Toddlers and Tantrum chucking, because my kids deserve an Oscar for the tantrums they throw. Cat and Lil will chuck a tantie over the smallest things, like, Lilly wants to get in her high chair on her own (by mounting the coffee table and climbing over the back of the high chair to get in it (my shattered nerves.) Or Lilly wants to put her own shoes on especially when you are running 20 minutes late for work. Or Caitlyn wants the pink bowl that Lilly has, NOT THE BLUE ONE. Or Caitlyn wants love hearts on her socks today NOT THE BEARS! Or Caitlyn will tell me she wants her hair like Annabel’s today and I have to guess how Annabel wears her hair – GOD help me if I guess wrong because that will send Caitlyn over the edge. Just to stop there and give you a background on Caitlyn’s friend Annabel… She is a gorgeous little girl with THICK curly hair. We are talking tight ringlets here peeps! Now I ask you with tears in my eyes "HOW CAN I POSSIBLY DO YOUR HAIR LIKE ANNABEL’S, CAITLYN?" I cringe on the mornings I get asked to do Caitlyn’s hair like Annabel’s because I know that it is going to end in a tantrum!

Anyway… so the latest Googling expedition started because Cat and Lil’s tanties are getting worse… Caitlyn is now throwing, what I call “assertive” tanties.

Caitlyn, 3 going on 13, had the mother of all tanties yesterday morning! She wanted her bunny rabbit and Lilly's, which Lilly refused to hand over. I told Caitlyn she could not have Lilly's rabbit. Next thing Caitlyn screams at me in a deep voice (insert “Assertive Tantie” here)  "I DON'T LIKE YOU, AND I DON'T WANT YOU....EVER". Somehow Cat and Lil think that if they throw in the “EVER” on the end, it means serious business! To me... it means Caitlyn scored herself 20 minutes in the Naughty Corner... So don't be trying that on me again Missy..... EVER!

This morning Caitlyn asked to wear a skirt to crèche. I told her it was too cold and she had to wear leggings. She stormed to the bedroom door and yelled “I DON’T LIKE YOU AND YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND….(Yip you guessed it) EVER” and slams the bedroom door on her way out. I go to open the bedroom door so I can punish her and to my disappointment Caitlyn had already taken herself off to the naughty corner! I guess she figured that was where she was going to end up and she accepted her fate!

Everyone has different ways of punishing their children and there is no right or wrong way! I have learnt the long and hard way that you just need to find something that works for you and your kids. When we were growing up we would get the odd smack here and there and it never killed us, but I once smacked Caitlyn on her bottom and she turned around and laughed in my face and said “Again”! OMG that was me finished! So smacking does not work on my children. The naughty corner seems to be the only thing that Cat and Lil respond to. When we put Lilly in the corner, her whole world come crashing down. She cries but the tears don’t even have enough time to roll down her cheeks they just shoot straight out in front of her! (breaks your heart to watch it). Caitlyn seemed to get used to the naughty corner but now we make her face the corner which she does not like – which means I do, because I know it is working.

Caitlyn has come home from crèche before and come to me fighting back the tears and said “Mommy can I go in the naughty corner”. I said “Errr… yes! Sure you can” and off she has gone. When she got to the corner she screamed and cried and went ballistic and then when she was calm she came out the corner and said “thank you Mommy, I feel better now!”… UM OK then! (insert dropped jaw, and look of shock and disbelief on my face). I like that Caitlyn feels she has a place to let off steam if she needs to.

I will never forget – and in my defence, this was pre-kids… I was in Kmart and there was a child throwing a God Almighty tantrum in the middle of the shop. We are talking, lying on the floor kicking and screaming here peeps. Horrified a mother can allow her child to go that mental and just stand there watching… I marched up to her and said “excuse me lady but do you mind! I am trying to shop here and your child carrying on like that, is making my shopping experience unpleasant!” When I think of that day I can just die because now that I have toddlers and they are at the tantrum stage (and boy when my kids wanna throw a tantrum there is no holding them back!) I think I would seriously head butt anyone that said that to me!

People without kids are the first to judge and give advice, and YES! I was one of those people. I have just come to the realization that there is no one thing that will work on all children! Google the bejesus out of it until you find something that works for you and your kids. The other thing I do strongly believe in, and have learnt this the hard way…. 1. Consistency is key, 2. it takes about three days to work and for the kids to fully GET the new rules your are “trying” to implement so STICK TO YOUR GUNS! And the last things is 3. DON’T threaten (I said to Caitlyn the other day “Caitlyn I am counting… One…. T..” and she shouts “TWO, THREE, FOUR” – EPIC FAIL – that is when you realize your kids have your sussed as a “threatner’ and not a doer)   (I am actually not sure if “Threatner” is even a word but you pick up what I am putting down!)

Funny I read this back now and it sounds like I have it all under control - DON'T BE FOOLED, I am forever in tears or on Google. It is trial and error all the way!