Google 1… Cat and Lil 0….

So after the morning I had yesterday, I decided to Google the bejezuz out of parenting tips! I needed advice on how to "tame my toddlers" before I got home from work. I have a 2 and 3 year old, both going on 13! It was time to take back control!

Let me tell you a little bit about my morning yesterday… (Bearing in mind Craig is in Singapore on business so I am flying solo this week).

We woke up and Caitlyn declared she wanted to get dressed! 2 Tantrums later (cause she is a fashion guru last we checked!) we finally agreed on an outfit. JOB DONE! Yeah right!

I start changing Lilly, turn around and Bugger me Joe, Caitlyn has stripped naked and declares “I don’t want to wear that”! So we went through the undie options again because apparently the undies we picked out for her previously didn’t go with the outfit “HUH?” WHAT OUTFIT?, YOU ARE NAKED! So another 3 tantrums later she found something she was prepared to wear and even found undies to go with the outfit! OBVIOUSLY nothing matched which made my arse twitch – me being the matchy matchy kinda person I am, BUT I was prepared to let it slide for fear of another tantrum!

We go downstairs and Caitlyn gets on her scooter and starts riding into Lilly, who is screaming blue murder. After a few threats and perforated ear drums (from Lilly screaming) I yell like a fish wife for Caitlyn to stop! She looks at me, smiles and rides straight into Lilly again! (Blood boiling doesn’t even cover it right now). So I walk towards Caitlyn and she abandons her scooter and runs for cover upstairs.

A few minutes later both kids come into the kitchen and started bleating for a banana, so I give them one each and continue getting ready for work. By this stage I am already 20 minutes late.

I get the kids in the car and we are about to leave when Caitlyn throw the mother of all tantrums because now her shoes don’t match her outfit. “OK WHAT it already looks like a rainbow threw up on you, so what do you MEAN your shoes don’t match your outfit?” So I run back inside to find “suitable” shoes. Finally now 30 minutes late we are ready to leave.  

While I am driving Caitlyn starts whining in the back of the car for another banana. So I said “NO Caitlyn, you already had one and the bananas in your bag are for school” (we have to take a piece of fruit for each child to school each day).

Next thing I see, in the review mirror, something fell off the roof of my car, so I pull over and go to have a look! I had put my sunglasses on the roof and driven off – that is something Craig does, NOT ME!  Ok now sunglasses in hand, and God knows how late by this stage, I start marching back up the road! I get to the car and Caitlyn has taken the bananas out her school bag and handed one to Lilly and she has one. They have both opened their bananas and smooshied them in their hands!  Let’s just say I heard a sound come out my mouth from the pit of my stomach that I had never heard nor knew I was capable of making. Lilly threw her banana to the front of the car – That’s right my baby ditch the evidence… But a tip for next time, you kinda want to ditch the evidence before mom catches you!  We drove to crèche in complete silence and when I looked in the review mirror both girls had eyes like saucers!

I got to work and almost had a breakdown.  It must have been obvious because everyone gave me a wide berth and the HR Director strolled on over and said “anything you wanna talk about?”.  I decided there and then that I would not go home unless I was prepared for Cat and Lil! I Googled every parenting website I could find on Terrible Two’s and Trying Three’s  (this is where I discovered there is also a F***ing Four’s and so it goes on – And everyone said it gets better! Well I have two words for those people “BITE”, “ME” ).

Let’s just say Caitlyn and Lilly came off second best last night! They have new respect! “That’s right beeatches…BRING IT…. Mommy, thanks to Google (this is not an Ad, Google is the only search thingie I know – being the Techno Dork I am) I was armed with every parenting tip known to man!

1. We now have reward charts for the things they (and I) struggle with – Eating, Bedtime and Dressing! (Caitlyn is LOVING this – we did try it a year ago but she was too small and didn’t quite get it) This morning Caitlyn opened her eyes and said “Mommy can we get dressed so I can get another sticker on my chart.”             
2. I speak ONCE and then it is the naughty corner. No more “I am giving you a warning” and three warnings later, or “I am counting to three” – ONCE AND IT IS GAME OVER!
3. I give them a CHOICE. Caitlyn asked for water so I poured her water in a cup, but she didn’t want THAT cup and threw a tantie. So normally we would change the cup. NOT THIS TIME. I put the cup on the counter and said Caitlyn you have a CHOICE. You can drink your water or you can go without it, it is YOUR CHOICE.” When She continued to go spastic I gave her another CHOICE: “Caitlyn you can have your water or you can have your tantrum in the corner.” It is YOUR CHOCIE. She went for the water….funny that!
4. Then while the girls were eating their dinner I went into Caitlyn’s room and removed EVERTHING that was not a piece of furniture. Every fluffy toy, bed side lamp, hair clips, nappies, you name it I removed it. I then changed the position of her change table so it was no longer under the light switch. (Caitlyn uses her Change table as a ladder to turn her light on so she can play when she should be sleeping). Funny thing is Caitlyn squealed when she saw her “new room” and couldn’t wait to go to bed, until it was lights out and then she realized she had nothing to play with nor could she turn the light on! MOM 1… CAITLYN 0….   
5. This morning I laid two outfit out and two pairs of undies and said “Caitlyn you can choose what you want to wear today!” NEEDLESS to say she chose the top from this outfit and the pants from that outfit! BUT there was no tantrum and she felt like she had decided what she was wearing so it was smiles all round. Caitlyn does not like to be TOLD what to wear but giving her a choice of (only) two outfits rather than standing in front of a wardrobe full of clothes and endless options, she still felt like she was in control over what she wearing!  

 We left for work on time today and there was not a single tantie in our house today! So, as much as I would like to say MOM 1…. CAT AND LIL 0…. I think I owe it to Google!